BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE BLOG

Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Christmas advent calendars

Can you believe it's nearly Christmas? It feels like it was only a few months ago that I was writing a similar style post on Sprucenews - The best beauty advent calendars. Time just seems to fly by. 

This year, I am SO excited because I managed to purchase two beauty advent calendars. Therefore, I think it's safe to say you can expect some Christmas vlogs on my channel!

However, last year I didn't have the same luck... get your violins out! 

Unfortunately, by the time I jumped on the bandwagon the advent calendars that I wanted were all sold out. So, I spent my entire December watching with envy as bloggers and people in general posted their goodies online! How sad of me.. I can honestly say I was gutted.

To make sure I was in the know about these things, I started researching early into what brands were bring out advent calendars and the prices so firstly, I didn't miss the launch dates and secondly, so I can make sure that I saved for them because they are not cheap.  

This post was so popular last year that I thought it would be fun to revisit and share with you all what is currently out right now that I think you beauty fanatics would love. 

In no particular order, here are five of the best advent calendars that I have seen so far! *All links are provided* 

Look Fantastic £70
Share:

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Coping with car anxiety



I know there are many people that suffer with anxiety either when driving or being in a car. So, I wanted to share my story. I have never been an anxious person, I have always been confident so it was strange for me when I sat in the driver's seat after so long that started to feel anxious. 

I'm not sharing this story because I want pity or because it seems that every YouTuber suffers from anxiety... I wanted to share the fear I had and my honest experience dealing with this and breaking out of this situation that was holding me back. 

Now, I never use to be an anxious driver. In fact, I used to be very confident and driving never phased me. But after not driving for 5 years and being involved in a car crash on the motorway it really knocked me for six. I just lost my confidence completely. I questioned everything and doubted my ability on the road. 

I would feel nervous just sitting behind the wheel it would panic me and my new car sat on my driveway for over a month before I built up the courage to finally drive the 27 miles to work. 

I think it takes a lot to get over something like this, and I know many drivers probably will think this blog is stupid - but I am not writing it for them. I am writing this for the many people out there who suffer from drivers anxiety. 

You're not alone! The good news is, you can get over it. I did, the more I drove the more confident I felt. I now feel that I can go anywhere and I don't feel nervous or anxious doing so. I also feel much better with passengers in my car. This was something that would make me feel nervous because I put this pressure on my shoulders that there life was in my hands. 

I thought it would be great to share with you my experience and some advice that helped me. 

Here are top tips on how to get over drivers anxiety: 
  1. Understand what your trigger is - whether it's speed, having passengers or the thought of being in traffic and losing control
  2. Go to a secluded place where you can practice - go through your manoeuvres and get more confident with your driving skills
  3. Drive shorter distances first - get use to your area and drive to a friends or to the shops 
  4. Have a passenger who builds your confidence - Gary's mum was my rock when I felt anxious and lost and she essentially helped build my confidence. 
  5. Take a deep breath and tell yourself you can do this! It's all in your mind. Overcome your fear. 
I hope this helps you, if you suffer from anxiety and want someone to chat to about it leave me a comment below or on my channel. :) 
Share:

Friday, 11 September 2015

40 ways to stay creative

Creative Photography by Brock Davis

I saw this list online, as someone who at times struggles with staying creative I found it extremely interesting and dare I say.. helpful! If you're looking for inspiration, new ideas or just something to keep your creative mind ticking over, here are 40 ways to stay creative. 
  1. Create an inspiration board
  2. Get out the house more and find inspiration outdoors
  3. Sketch - even if you're not the best at it 
  4. Experiment - learn to say yes more often 
  5. Socialise - go out with friends and family 
  6. Keep up with the latest trends online - and offline!
  7. Learn a new skill... I want to learn French 
  8. Read.. find a new favourite book 
  9. Use sticky notes - you can get colourful ones!
  10. Break your routine - try something new 
  11. Surround yourself with creative minds 
  12. Check out what other people are doing.. maybe they can provide you with inspiration
  13. Visit exhibitions 
  14. Collaborate 
  15. Travel 
  16. Get a new hobby 
  17. Challenge yourself 
  18. Make lists 
  19. Meditate 
  20. Get feedback from peers
  21. Listen to music 
  22. Watch films 
  23. Take risks 
  24. Write down stuff - what's in your mind right now?
  25. Declutter your workspace
  26. Love what you do 
  27. Finish projects
  28. Visit museums 
  29. Keep a dream diary - you could become the next JK Rowling's! 
  30. Get a love life... 
  31. Take naps 
  32. Watch motivational videos 
  33. Go to the theatre 
  34. Practice 
  35. Eat different food 
  36. Stop comparing yourself to others 
  37. Question things 
  38. Turn off distractions 
  39. Let go of your fear 
  40. Be curious 
What things do you do to stay creative? 
Share:

Friday, 21 August 2015

Makeup cheat

I am no expert in makeup and I am sure there are many MUAs out there that will provide more detailed advice on the best ways to apply your makeup. However, I have been using makeup for a long time and have some great tips or cheats for you that have helped me over the years to get the coverage I want and the look that I have been working towards. 

Okay so this sounds all very professional but I am not going to promise that these will work for everyone!! 

FIVE BEAUTY HACKS YOU NEED TO KNOW

  1. FINDING THAT PERFECT FOUNDATION: Sample foundation by using your neck to find your perfect shade - this will always provide you with a better match than what you would find using the back of your hand or wrist.
  2. KEEP YOUR MAKEUP ON FOR LONGER: Use dusting powder after your primer and before you apply your foundation.
  3. MASCARA THE RIGHT WAY: Stroke your mascara towards your eyebrows and not out to the side - this will prevent clumps and will give you those lengthy clean looking lashes you want so badly.
  4. BEAUTYBLENDER HACKS: Soak your beauty blender in water before applying your makeup, this will give you a more dewy finish for longer
  5. NO MAKEUP - MAKEUP LOOK - To get natural rosy looking cheeks, apply a bright pink cream blush underneath your foundation. It will give a more natural flush to your cheeks.
I hope these helped!! Let me know what your beauty cheats are. 
Share:

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

When I feel like giving up



We all have bad days. Those days where we feel uninspired - it's all part of being human. We are all different in many ways, what motivates us can be completely different to someone else. However, I think we all have those days where we work hard and try hard but feel like an epic failure. 

It is almost a human error where we compare ourselves to others. We all do it. I am especially guilty of this and I think you will find that the majority of people you know are exactly the same. We all want more, we all feel low at times and self-criticise. 

If I could offer one piece of advice I would say - don't ever let this stop you from getting to where you want to be. Those dreams you have and those set goals you want to achieve are extremely important. Never let anyone knock you down and make you feel as if they are not a priority - because they are. 

I once read that the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts, so think positive and keep your dreams alive. 

I thought today I'd share some helpful advice for when you're having a difficult time. Here are a few things I do to keep my spirits up and the blues at bay! 

SHARE YOUR GOALS WITH THOSE AROUND YOU

No, I do not mean every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. I mean those around you that provide you with steady guidance, confidence and support. I find that sharing my goals with people who appreciate and love me only strengthen my determination. 

Plus, they can help keep you on track by continuously asking how things are...


WRITE DOWN WHY YOU STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

We all need a gentle reminder sometimes why we even set ourselves goals. Whether it's something you have always aspired to do or whether it's something you want to change in your life that you are working on. The thing with setting yourself goals is that as human beings we have a tendency to go for the easy way out. Unfortunately, the easy way out consists of giving up. 
This is why giving yourself a gentle reminder as to why you're doing what you're doing is so important. If you feel like throwing in the towel, find a way to remind yourself why you started in the first place. Write them down in a diary alongside what you want to achieve and why you want to achieve it. So when you're feeling down in the dumps you can read over them and refocus your priorities to keep yourself looking ahead. 


GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK!!

Okay, so I don't mean literally here! But it is important to appreciate your success and celebrate. So giving yourself a little treat every now and again is a good thing!! If you can't appreciate what you do, no one else will!
Share:

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Gym girl

After months and months of saying I will start healthy living and exercise...I have finally started! Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am overweight, but I know I need to exercise and tone. It's important, not just because I want to feel body confident (although there is nothing wrong with wanting this at all) It's more about living longer, being in the best shape I have ever been and feeling healthier. 

There are a number of ways that you can achieve this, however if you add them together it can only do you good. 

My first step for me is to head to the gym at least 5 times a week - Monday - Friday. This seems a lot, however I will have the weekend to relax before starting the week again. After my first gym session in forever I felt exhilarated. I finally got the motivation and the determination to change something in my life that I desperately needed changing. 


PROFILE
AGE: 25
HEIGHT: 5FT 3
WEIGHT: 53KG

GOAL: TONE STOMACH, BUM, THIGHS AND ARMS
Share:

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

The freedom to love


Could you imagine a world where you were told it was wrong to be in love? The very thought makes me feel emotional. Talking as someone who is in a long-term relationship, I could not imagine my life without my partner, he has grown to be apart of me. 

If I was told that I could not love him, that it was wrong and disgraceful - it would rock me to the very core. He is very much my best friend as he is my boyfriend. 

I recently read that in 76 countries it is illegal to be gay. As a straight female, I know this does not affect my own personal relationship, so many of you may be wondering what the reason is for this post.

I wanted to share my thoughts and be another voice fighting against this hate campaign.

I know quite a few individuals who are gay or lesbian and they are wonderful people. This hate that surrounds them for wanting to be equal is shameful. I decided to join in the conversation and encourage the #gayisok campaign.

This may not affect me on a personal level, but it does affect people I know and care for.

I could not imagine a world where it wasn't okay to be in love, so why should they have to put up with this? These 76 countries withhold the freedom to love for millions of people.

Why are we so judgemental? Why is it so hard to accept? Why are we criticising people over their sexuality? Do we not have more important things to think about? I don't know.. like wars, poverty, crime - how can we place a person's sexuality alongside any of these things? 

In my opinion, a person should not be defined or branded because of his/her sexuality. Why can't being a good person be enough for us? Why do we always have to create hate.

We choose to obsess over something we cannot change and why would we want to? To love someone whether they are male or female is a beautiful thing. We should be embracing it rather than emulating hate. 


#Gayisok
 
Share:

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Scandalous by Tilly Bagshawe



The front cover of Tilly Bagshawe's novel Scandalous really doesn't do the book itself any justification. If I was shopping for a book to read, this would not have captured my attention enough to pick it up and read the back cover. It really has no representation of what the story is about and quite frankly looks a little..dare I say.. tacky? 

Of course, the saying goes.. never judge a book by its cover. There have never been truer words spoken in this books case. The title 'Scandalous' is spot on and true to the nature of the story. Overall I have to say I loved the book. Let me tell you why. 

I picked up this book whilst exploring Madeira. It was just sitting there on the bookshelf in my hotel lobby, the leftovers of someone else's holiday. I picked up two books in fact (the only two in the English language might I add), one was a crime novel, which is usually more to my taste (I can't remember the name) - I love crime fiction, mostly James Patterson novels about Alex Cross. I have read a few chick lit and erotica books, but I have never really read something that grasps my attention where I can escape in the words on paper. This is why crime fiction is my favourite genre - the crime itself, the thrill, the danger and of course the hero. It's always action packed and leaves me on edge. 

I also love the Harry Potter books (who doesn't?) Twilight, Game of thrones and Hunger games. So it's true to say that I like a variety. 

I remember reading the back of both books and decided I wanted something more light-hearted. So I gave the other book to my brother Ryan and started Scandalous. 

For three days I got lost in the pages, at first I wasn't sure. The opening chapter sounds more like a teenage romance novel where the main character Sasha Miller loses her virginity and is heading out to university. Just as I was about to close the pages for good, the real story kicked into high gear and had me hooked. Introducing Professor Theo Dexter. I don't want to give the story away too much but here is the summary on the back of the book...

Sasha Miller goes to Cambridge University with a dream, and leaves a broken woman. After losing her heart to sexy professor Theo Dexter, she departs in a scandal. 
Meanwhile, as Theo Dexter becomes a television heart-throb, his long suffering wife Theresa realises that trust and fidelity are two words her husband doesn't understand. His betrayal is deeper than any cut. Years later the two women will reunite in a daring scheme to bring down the man who almost destroyed them both. It took them years to realise how one man could cause so much pain, but now they are determined her will regret the day he entered both of their lives...

The story takes you through Sasha Miller's life and various other characters within the book. It's brilliant, shocking and quite sexy too. There are some great twists and revenge is bliss. I enjoyed the story throughout, however I don't feel that the ending was as good as I hoped it would be. It felt rather rushed and I thought there could have been more to it. Of course that's just my opinion. I would still recommend it, it makes you feel good and bad and sexy all at the same time. You go through a mixture of emotions with the lead character and there are some elements that you can relate to. 

I would give it a 3.8 out of 5 if I had a star rating. 

If anyone would like to read it, I believe that it's available on Amazon for under £5! 

I hope you enjoyed this review. 
Share:

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Holiday Checklist


Preparing for holiday can be a stressful process. Making sure you have everything - because we all know the panic we get in when we have forgot something so important. I am heading to Madeira on my travels this month - HOW EXCITING! 

Before I start packing, I always make a list.. yes I am that person. I like to write down everything I need to take to make sure I do not forget anything important. 


I know many of my friends are last minute packers... I get too excited and would pack three weeks in advance if I could. Some of you may be like me.. 'The List' people or you may be like many of my friends and Gary who are 'Last Minute' people. Either way, I thought it would be a great idea to share with you all my holiday checklist. 


THE CHECKLIST
  • Passport - you cannot leave the country without this!
  • Travel documents - these are to make sure you know when your plane leaves
  • Money - so you can buy all those lovely things on holiday
  • Sun cream - we don't want skin cancer
  • Aftersun - we definitely do not want to peel
  • Deodorant - feel fresh
  • Toothbrush & Toothpaste - clean your teeth!
  • Shower Gel - of course.. to clean yourself
  • Shampoo & Conditioner - greasy hair is a no-go
  • Dry Shampoo - in case you're feeling lazy 
  • Baby wipes - you never know when these will come in handy
  • Facial wipes - take of that makeup girl!
  • Soap - scrub scrub
  • Razor - hairy armpits should not be a statement
  • Hairbrush - brush your hair!
  • Hair elastics - tie your hair back when it gets too warm
  • Adaptor - to plug things in
  • Camera - snap snap
  • Batteries - for your camera
  • Memory card - for your camera
  • Phone - to send messages to people to make them jealous you're on holiday!
  • Phone charger - to keep your phone fully charged! 
  • Swimming goggles - diving anyone?
  • Clothes - being naked for the entire holiday maybe isn't a good idea
  • Underwear - unless commando is your style?
  • Bikinis - beach.. pool... do I need to say more
  • Sandals - get your feet out!
  • Hair straightener - for the evening when you actually want to make an effort
  • Makeup - you never know.. you may want to doll up
  • Sunglasses - Keep the sun out your eyes! 
What's on your checklist? 
Share:

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Favourite bars in London

I love London. There is no better place to go within the UK where you can find everything in one city. Whether it's fashion, beauty, great food or a cool place to hang out, London is the place to be. I regularly travel around London, trying to find the best places to eat, drink and have a great time. There are so many places to choose, it’s very rare that I will go to the same place twice unless it’s been unforgettable. 

Today I wanted to share with you all my FAVOURITE BARS TO VISIT IN LONDON. 

Want to feel like you're in Made in Chelsea? Well you could always visit this swanky bar you see in the show so frequently! It's classy, comfortable and just beautiful inside! The interiors are just so chic and fabulous! One of the best places to hang out with your friends and order some delicious cocktails! 


Located in Shoreditch, this rooftop bar is just unbelievable! It's open all year round and provides you with such a classy experience. Whether you want to venture out to Shoreditch for a date or for casual cocktails or a beer with your mates. I would definitely recommend it to everyone!


You probably can tell by now that I rather like a rooftop bar... Well here is another one for you! This is potentially high on the tourist hotspot list, but this space is just so incredible that I had to add it on my favourite places to hang out! You get the most amazing view of the city. You can even see Big Ben if you're here as a tourist. It’s slick and the service is great, it’s definitely one to check out. 

So, that’s my favourite bars to hang out in London. I know there are so many more places, and if I made the list longer, I am sure I could tell you a few more incredible bars to visit in London.

Tell me where your favourite bar to hang out in London is... 
Share:

Friday, 29 May 2015

Life lessons from fairy tales

I recently read an article about how fairy tale’s are harmful to children? 
I don't know about you, but I think this is completely bonkers. I'm not quite sure why I feel so defensive about this, I suppose it's because I've always imagined one day reading fairy tale bedtime stories to my child. I guess the thought that these stories could have a negative impact on their life hits a nerve.


When I think of fairy tale’s, I envision love and happiness. I also think of the difference between good and evil. Every fairy tale has a happy ending, but real life never has a happy ending. We live and we die. A sad but true fact of life.
This analogy hit me, it’s not the happily ever after that’s important, it’s the story.
Fairy tale’s all have life lessons, it may appear to be all about beautiful princesses and princes and a wicked witch but when you consider the meaning behind it, there are some real life lessons to be learnt. Let me try and explain, in my opinion, we are all beautiful to someone. We are not perfect, we are vulnerable just like the beautiful princesses in the stories. We go through life with hatred and evil around us - death, loss, sadness and heartache which is exactly the same as any fairy tale story.

However, there's also happiness, love, loyalty, kindness and appreciation, especially for those all important people that we surround ourselves with - our family and friends. The difference between real life and fairy tale’s is that they focus on the positive; they focus on moving past the negative and thinking positive, essentially making the best out of a bad situation.  

The life lessons of fairy tales

  1. A fairytale teaches children the difference between good and evil.
  2. The importance of love and happiness.
  3. How to overcome even the most terrible circumstances.
  4. That good friends are important
  5. That you have to appreciate every day
  6. That you’re a strong person
  7. The meaning of trust
  8. The power of imagination
  9. Hope
  10. Loyalty
and the list goes on. 

Some may say that fairy tale’s are damaging children but I think they are empowering them to use their imagination. This super-naturalism or scepticism bullshit that some idiot claims will affect our children is a load of rubbish. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I think adults always want someone or something to blame for their child’s behaviour. I agree that fairy tale’s can instil a false sense in the supernatural, but it also instils the belief of joy, happiness and dreams.
I welcome the thought that children have something to believe in. Fairy tale’s may not be true but they are endearing and innocent. When a child is grown they will realise the true meaning of fairy tale’s. But leave them to enjoy the ideals in their own mind. Allow them to imagine and create their own dreams.
Share:

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Top 10 beauty tips

I have always loved beauty products. I loved them before I even considered Sprucenews and I still love them now. Probably even more in fact. I think over the years as I have built up my makeup collection and tried out new looks and styles, I have realised that I have a variety of tips and tricks that I use within my beauty regime. Of course this means I am going to share them with you today.. So here are my TOP 10 BEAUTY TIPS!

Freeze your Eyeliner - Does your eye-liner constantly crumble while putting it on? Try leaving it in the freezer for 15 minutes prior to applying your makeup. It should glide along your lash line seamlessly after that.

Shave with conditioner - If you're out of shaving cream, lather your legs with conditioner instead of soap. Conditioner will not only soften the hair on your legs making it easier to shave but it will also leave your skin feeling extra silky.

Don't neglect your elbows - It's easy to forget the small parts of your body that need protection and care. Your elbows are one of them, if you suffer from dry skin on your elbows try using Bio-Oil. Massage into your elbows daily and you should see a difference in your skin in around two days. 

Toothpaste on your spots - You've heard it before, don't pop your spots! if you suffer from acne or you often get a pimple or two  try applying a bit of toothpaste to your pimples before bed and washing it off with warm water when you wake up in the morning. They say that toothpaste draws impurities out of clogged pores and dries the skin which shrinks the pimple. Opt for organic toothpastes rather than gel toothpastes which don't work as well.                                                                                                                          
No makeup remover? Try lotion instead - If you have run out of makeup remover, use your body lotion to get rid of makeup. It works especially well on tough products such as mascara and eye-liner.                                                                                                                    
Uses for old mascara wands - Don't throw away your old mascara wands, it's still got a few uses left. Clean it and use it as a brow brush instead.      
                                                  
Don't pump your mascara - Never pump your mascara (i.e. moving the wand up and down in the tube really quickly) because it will only allow air into the tube which will cause your mascara to dry (and ultimately shorten its lifespan).        
                                                     
Clean your makeup brushes - Make sure you clean your makeup brushes regularly to avoid a build-up of makeup residue and bacteria. You can purchase makeup brush cleaner from a drug or beauty store, or you can simply use shampoo and conditioner to clean your brushes as you would your own hair. Clean brushes guarantee a super smooth and even makeup application every time. 
                     
Towel dry the right way - Don't rub your hair dry with your towel; it will cause your hair to frizz. Instead, before getting out of the shower gently squeeze excess water from your hair. Then, wrap your hair in a towel and pat it dry to absorb any remaining moisture.    
                  
Top coat is a must - Add a top coat to freshly painted nails, and then again once they are dry. This makes your nail polish less likely to chip and will ensure it lasts longer.

What's your favourite beauty tip? Let me know in the comment box below 
Share:

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

How to build confidence


My self-esteem was once so low that my boyfriends mum gave me a book on how to build my confidence. Now, it wasn't the book that kicked me out of that frame of mind, it was someone acknowledging that I needed to do something about it. Which was something I just couldn't see myself. 

I have always been a confident person. I am happy and bubbly most of the time and usually I find it easy to bounce back and get on with things. For some reason this particular time I felt it was so difficult to over-come what I was going through. 

I will be forever grateful to Corrie for her help and support during that time of my life. There are so many things that can happen to you that can knock your confidence. For me, it was moving away from home to be with Gary. Not that the decision to move in with him was what knocked my confidence, I will never regret moving to be with him as our relationship wouldn't be what it is today. Moving away from home to a new place where I had no friends, I had no job and nothing was mine. It felt strange. So different from being at university where I went home every term and was surrounded by friends. 

Maybe it was acknowledging that I now had to make grown-up decisions, or maybe I was just homesick, I do not know. Here I felt quite isolated and lonely. I quickly fell into the darkness of low self-esteem and that's what caused arguments. That's when Corrie came to me and handed me the book. I knew then that I needed to get my life back. I made a choice and I needed to make it work for me, instead of feeling sorry for myself. 

I am not going to say it was easy, because it wasn't. I lost touch with some of the girls I use to call 'friends' after realising what they were really like. But I have kept in-touch with the important people in my life. I have a wonderful family both in Birmingham and here in Berkshire. 

I eventually found a job which kick-started my progressing career and I have made some wonderful friends here as well. Me and Gary have built such a wonderful life for ourselves. We have our own home and things are going from strength to strength.

I am not telling you this because I want to rub it in that my life has gotten better, I am trying to tell you that it will get better. You have to want to do something about it. Those changes do not happen over-night! It takes time, work and positivity. Try and surround yourself with positive people. People you know you can turn to for support. And most of all know who your friends are because you need people you can count on, not people who knock you down. 

I hope this post offers you some enlightenment, and you find your confidence again!
Share:

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Vintage & Retro


There is just something about vintage shops that really intrigue me. I like the idea of revamping old clothes and shoes and reselling them. it's thrifty and good for the environment. Not that I am one with nature or anything, but the concept of one man's trash is another man's treasure is appealing. 

You all know of my love for eBay, and I am not shy to admit it. If I can find something I like for a bargain price how could I say no? I think I have picked up this trait from my dad who has a huge love for car-boot sales. His thrifty ways have been passed on to me it seems. 

I was in London not too long ago and found myself in Shoreditch. It's potentially one of the coolest places to hang out and excellent for vintage hunters. I don't profess to buy many vintage pieces, but I like to browse to see if I could find anything worth purchasing. 

London is very big on the retro scene. You can honestly find a vintage shop situated across the city. Whether it's something that reminds you of the 90's or it's a piece that will take you back to the 20's. They pretty much cover the bases. 

Some of the stores I use to visit have now closed down which is a shame, but I thought I would share with you my top vintage shops that you can go and visit when you're in London:

VINTAGE HART



Are you interested in Vintage fashion? What are your favourite vintage shops? 
Share:

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Thoughts on jealousy


Have you ever Googled the meaning of jealousy? 
'Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection.'
I would be a liar if I said I have never felt jealous or been envious of people. It's a horrible emotion but I raise my hands and admit that I have been jealous in the past. I would say that it's a weakness, but it's part of who I am. As much as I don't like that side of me, I accept it and try to better myself. 

My understanding of my own jealousy is that it comes from personal insecurities. My parents come from a working class background and they have had to fight and struggle to give me and my family the best they can (which is something I will always be grateful for). I have always found that I have been eager to please, and I have always tried to push myself to be better. I think my jealousy has stemmed from this. 

Don't get me wrong, I do not blame my parents. They have raised me extremely well by surrounding me with love and affection. They have tried hard to provide me with the life they never had. My ambition and determination has made me want more. More than what I had when I was younger, more so that I can provide my own children with the luxury of having a comfortable lifestyle without a worry of money. 

And that's exactly it.. although material things should never come into it, it has always been about material things. Most of my friends come from wealthy backgrounds where their parents could afford to buy them the newest trainers and handbags and mobile phones. I was so envious of them. I wanted my parents to be able to do the same for me. I come from a large family, 4 brothers 1 sister so you can imagine that there was a lot of hand me down clothes and shoes. We rarely had anything new because in my household, if one of us has something the rest of us had it too. It was unrealistic and my parents couldn't afford those luxuries. (Not that I considered any of this when I was younger) This is why as soon as I turned 16 I found myself a part-time job to pay for all the things I wanted. 

Jealousy can come in all forms. I was in such a bad relationship when I was 18 and that also made me insecure in future relationships. Feeling betrayed and hurt can have that effect on someone. Whether it was jealousy of my friends that were in secure happy relationships or whether it was me comparing myself to other beautiful women.. oh I am too fat... she's so much prettier than I am.. honestly I have never felt some much self hate then I did back then. 

You might be thinking why are you telling us these stories?! Well the truth is, I wanted to offer my advice on jealousy and help you get past your own insecurities through my experiences. 

I have had this discussion so many times. I have spoken to my good friends about it and you know they were just as jealous of me at the time. They were jealous for completely different reasons of course. The wanted the family love I had, they felt their parents only bought them the best things because they were never around. They wanted the loving relationship I had with my parents and my siblings. This isn't something that can be bought, it was real and although I didn't get the best of the best, I got the best of them. Which I realise now that I am older was plenty. 

When it comes to my own self-hate, this is something I had to work on. I had to realise my own worth and what I deserved. I picked the wrong men for starters. I went for men that had no respect for anyone and didn't understand the meaning of a relationship. I found my confidence again and realised that you're only as beautiful as you feel. By taking care of yourself and believing in yourself will you truly feel confident and happy. 

Now of course, I am with Gary. I am not going to say he is perfect because no-one is, but he is perfect for me. He builds me up and believes in me. That's the type of relationship we all deserve. 

I have no reason to feel envious because I am thankful for what I have. If you want more, then fight for it, earn it and work your ass off to get it. The only reason you don't have it right now is because you don't believe in yourself enough. Never feel jealous of another person, because yes they may be amazing.. but so are you. 

So whether you're feeling jealous over a guy, a friend, some other girl/boy, money, family, work or whatever else.. take time to consider what the root cause is. Look at your own life and work on that. Don't waste your time being jealous, it's a pointless emotion that only causes pain and not happiness. 

If you're feeling jealous about something and feel you need to chat about it, leave a comment in box below... maybe I can help. 
Share:
© SPRUCENEWS | All rights reserved.